Genitals Are (Not) Essential For Sex Education?

As a sex educator in favour of comprehensive information I think it is essential that genitals are included in the information we give kids.

An American commercial run by their US Department of Health and Human Services is trying to help parents by telling them that ‘parts’ are not essential in order to talk to their kids. The idea is that this will make it less embarrassing for the parent and easier for them to talk to their kids. The main point of the ad also seems to be for parents to tell kids they don’t want them to have sex. See the video here. There is also a website for parents to help them at http://www.4parents.gov.

First of all, talking about sex with kids needs to be a life-long process and include all kinds of teachable moments on topics like puberty, sex, relationships, drugs, alcohol, what goes on in the movies and news, etc starting from as soon as kids are able to talk. This sets up a secure and safe base for parents and children to talk about these subjects which makes it easier for parents to communicate with children about the essential things later on like puberty, dating, and sex.

Secondly, genitals are essential! Children need to know the correct names of their genitals and how to talk about them without embarrassment (which often is learned from the parents). This can give them confidence and a sense of ownership over their body which not only helps prevent child abuse, but makes them more secure teenagers when they are getting into relationships and, thus, less likely to be pressured into sexual behaviours they are not ready for.

Thirdly, although parents do need to tell their kids if they don’t want them to have sex, parents also need to educate their children so that if and when their children do decide to have sex they know how to protect themselves both physically and emotionally.

In spite of all my criticism, I am elated that there is a television commercial encouraging parents of America to talk to their kids about sex! There is obviously a long way to go, but hopefully this campaign will be a stepping stone towards better communication within families and a sexually healthier America.