The Weekly Whims Of HatManJim: The Strange Case Of The Jazz Lady And The Schoolgirl

HatManJim // A weather-beaten eye cast over the media: HatManJim looks at a story in the headlines and as a feminist with a penis (Menimist? Femi-meni-mist? I just believe in women’s rights, I’m not having gender-reassignment. OK?), attempts to map the sexism inherent in the press, without inadvertently saying anything lecherous about breasts.

In recent weeks the UK has been fascinated by the trial of Helen Goddard, a music teacher in London who has been jailed for 15 months after an affair with one of her students.

There is much to be fascinated about: Goddard is a former child prodigy who was known by her students as “Jazz Lady”, a nickname that invokes something both cool, and in the context of the story, slightly seedy. It never fails to be mentioned in reports on the case.

Perhaps more intriguing is the fact that the student, who cannot be named for legal reasons and was 15 at the time the affair took place, still professes to love her former teacher and wants to re-establish contact. It is a detail that caused the judge, Anthony Pitts, to describe it as “a difficult case”.

It is easy to believe and be seduced by this tale of forbidden love as Goddard herself barely looks like she is out of her teens. Were the teacher in question male, one suspects that portrayals of the case would be more straightforward: perpetrator and victim. As it is reports are unsure whether to cast Goddard as a tragic victim of passion or a scheming predator.

But why is the case really drawing so much attention? It’s a fascinating narrative but on a more base level I suspect there’s something else going on here. Men are titillated by lesbianism.

Personally it’s not something I understand. I have and have had many gay, female friends who I am very fond of but I have never really found the idea of watching two girls getting it on particularly exciting. I suspect men fall into two camps on this issue: the emasculated, like me (“Um… I’m not sure where I fit into this equation”) and the penis enviers who, bluntly, seem to be looking for a willy-free pornographic experience that doesn’t bother their sexuality.

So I suspect this is the media giving the public what they think it wants. And, as men largely drive the media, this one ticks all the boxes: attractive woman (Goddard is, undoubtedly, a bit of a looker), check, transgressive schoolgirl (apparently another popular fascination, which should really raise a few eyebrows – I blame Roger Taylor in that Queen video), check, girl-on-girl action, check.

If we look objectively at this story, there is undeniably tragedy here. Whether you think it is the tragedy of a young girl prematurely exposed to a sexual relationship by someone she, her parents and society had placed trust in, or the tragedy of a young woman being imprisoned for love, I will leave up to you. But the reason the story has proved so popular is that in a man’s world, the bare bones of it could be the plot of an adult movie. And that, I’m afraid, is case closed.

Or is it? What do you think?

HatManJim’s column will appear every Saturday.