Have A Cigar — Fathers Should Be Banned From Delivery Rooms
October 19, 2009 3 Comments
A French obstetrician has made a controversial statement about giving birth.
He claims, based not on research but on anecdotal evidence, that women would be better off if men were once again banned from the delivery room.
He claims that ”birth was both easier and faster when male figures were not present”, “that babies’ arrival in the world would be more straightforward if women were left with only a midwife to help them”, and that “birth process had become ‘masculinised’ in recent years”.
He said the tensions caused by the presence of men at birth could lead to more adrenalin, slowing the production of the hormone oxytocin, which assists effective contractions, making labour longer and more painful and increasing the chance of a caesarean section.
I have read stories about women complaining that their husband, mother, sister, mother-in-law, father-in-law, and a whole host of other people want to be present for the labour. These women are often unsure about what their rights are and become more concerned with hurting somebody’s feelings rather than focussing on the birth and their own needs.
I think the most important thing here is to focus on the woman and what she wants. Families need to understand that a woman is incredibly vulnerable at this time and she needs to feel safe. They need to not be pushy and let her make the decisions.
If a woman wants it to be a private experience between her and the baby’s father the rest of the family should respect that. Equally, as difficult as it may be, if she does want to be alone with the midwife her partner should try to remain open-minded and not take offense. After all, only a few decades ago men were forbidden from entering the delivery room and there are years and years that the father can look forward to being involved in the child’s life.
It could be controversial and it could involve a lot of family politics, but people need to put aside their selfish desires and help the woman provide what is best for her and the child.
It’s not all about the moms though. Fathers should be aware of their partners needs, but they have some right to be present to witness the first breath of their child. (Mick)
Definitely. I think most women would want their partners there and only a small minority would be without him.
I guess the trouble comes with unhappy or abusive relationships where the mother is not comfortable with her partner.
How would women navigate that? I have no idea.
(Mack)
This subject is a little too complex to be able to warrant such a general statement. Surely it should come down to the relationship between the mother and the father – a good and supportive partner should be in tune with what the mother of his child requires at the time of birth, and cater accordingly, recognising that her needs at this time are the most important, and all others can be accomodated later. Whether this means that she is happy to have a whole host of spectators present, or just the two of them, plus their doctor or midwife is totally up to each couple.
It’s my belief that men tend to miss out and become a hinderance during such important life events as they tend not to be as well educated as they should, whether by choice or lack of resources. If men were taught to actively coach their partner through birth, and thereby play an important supportive role, they would feel more useful during the process. And if they are in tune with what the mother of their child needs from them at this important time, surely they would facilitate childbirth & become a vital asset to mother and child.