Feminist Weddings
October 26, 2009 1 Comment
Jessica Valenti, the founder of Feministing, has responded to the criticism about her marriage.
Frankly, I am sick to death of hearing about it; there is absolutely nothing wrong with a feminist getting married.
Granted, marriage used to be about the woman as property, girls were sold from fathers to husbands, and yes, this does still happen in some cultures.
However, in Western society where we have free speech, feminism, and equality, marriage does not need to be that way.
Marriage is what the couple makes of it and there are as many different ways to have a marriage as there are couples.
I am a feminist. I believe in equality of the sexes. And I definitely intend on getting married in the future. I want to make that committment to my spouse and show that I love him and want to be part of his life forever more by declaring it to my closest friends and family.
We will share the household duties, negotiate child care together, and place value on both of our careers. This will mean compromise and sacrifice for both of us, not just me, the wife. My marriage will be one of equality and respect, and that is what a feminist marriage is all about.
The next time someone tells me I’m somehow less of a woman because I’m married, there might be violence involved. Marriage is no longer about securing my future because I have no personal earning potential and preparing to spend the rest of my life churning out babies and maintaining the household. That may have been true for my great-grandmother, but even my grandmother worked with two children and no help around the house. Marriage is no longer about property, it’s about partnership.