If You’re Lucky Enough To Get Invited To The Garden Party Don’t Complain About The State Of The Bushes
November 1, 2009 2 Comments
Brazilian waxes are essential, according to Suzi Godson. She told a 38 year old re-entering the dating pool that it was necessary grooming for all modern women.
“Imagine burning-hot, extra-strength Sellotape being ripped from delicate skin … and now treble the pain.”
What a shame she doesn’t know that this practice is headed the way of bell bottoms and flapper dresses.
She says:
Grooming down there is now considered to be normal, on a par with manicures, blow drying and eyebrow waxing. Indeed, any woman who dares to be less rigid in her styling, as you have found, risks being labelled as bucolic, unsanitary or possibly French…
The thing is, that just isn’t true.
A workmate of mine recently got it all taken off, which prompted a discussion among the women at the office.* No one else was sporting that particular pubic style. Comments ranged from the creepiness of looking down and seeing a child to the inconvenience of the itch when it grew back.
Among my friends only one or two have gone under the wax and neither would do it again. The discomfort was just not worth it. And it is not just my little corner of the world, these women are from Australia, Canada, Lebanon, the UK and the US. I’ve never even heard of a man complaining about the shape of their shrubbery (and that would have been a world class rant).
I’ve always thought that it is rude to complain about the state of the bushes when you’ve been lucky enough to get invited to the garden party. Apparently the men of the world agree.
I never though frat boys would out-class Miss Manners.
*I do not work at a cool, bohemian blog, by the way – I’m talking about my day job here.
Permanent laser removal is the only way. I had a bikini wax exactly once, for a special occasion involving my husband, because the woman at the salon cajoled me into it. It was all I could do not to scream every time she tore one of the strips off – I almost didn’t even let her finish. The result was lovely (for both of us), but not enough to go through that torture again, and any man who insists a woman do it better be willing to man up and return the favor. Get back to me once you’ve had the hair on your testicles ripped out by the root, guys.
Well, OK, I lost a bet with my wife and had it done. I’ve learned that many places use the wrong wax – if there are cloth strips involved, it hurts like hell, but hard wax (what they use on me is blue) hardly hurts at all. The results are so great I’ve become a regular! It simply makes sex a whole new experience – this from a mid 50′s guy married for 28 years.