The Gift Of Insight

Often receiving presents can be a confusing experience.

We laugh at Grandma’s gift of a pack of lipsmackers but when a boyfriend gives us a crazy present we have to wonder what he was thinking.

Gift cards

Obviously he either doesn’t know you well and can’t be arsed to get you something nice or he is so worried about making a bad impression that he panicked. Either way you have to wonder what is wrong here.

Books

This is usually a safe present from someone who knows you well enough to pick something on a subject you’re interested in. That said, sometimes he gets you The Perfect Book, something you had never heard of which becomes an instant favourite. Books are a window to the soul and if he hits a home run here he shows he really gets you.

Cheap jewellery

You know, the crappy costume stuff from Claire’s. This guy values you as much as a pink plastic ring and should be ditched immediately.

(interesting cheap jewellery, from a local craftsman or bought when on holiday is cool and falls into a different category altogether).

Expensive jewellery

He values you and wants you to know it. But does he know who you really are?

Albums/Mixed tapes

He wants you to know that he really knows who you are. Even if it sucks (as they so often do) it shows he wants to connect on a deeper level. Aw shucks!

Body lotion/ soap/ bath salt

He had no idea what to get you and may not even know your name. Worse than gift certificates because he’s trying to hide his ineptitude.

Lingerie

He values you — your body anyway. The more uncomfortable the item is the less he cares for you as a person.

Puppy or kitten

This guy is big on romantic gestures but only has a tenuous grasp on reality. Unless you were already in the market for a four-legged furball, a present that demands you pick up poop for 15 years is no present at all.

Engagement ring

He loves you but is relying on Santa to fill your stocking.