Why Do Men Use Prostitutes? Because They Can Get Away With It

An article was published examining why men use prostitutes based on a study of over 700 men in six countries.

This article was sensationalist, citing worn out old stereotypes about how all men are potential rapists and how normal women won’t do the things they want them to do, and did nothing to answer the question it set out to.

Working in sexual health, I deal with men who have sex with prostitutes on a daily basis. They are, like the article said, mostly men with significant others at home who don’t know about their escapades.

But if these men think that the women back home will not do what they want them to do sexually they must be seriously ignorant about women’s sexuality. Most men I speak with are either receiving oral sex or having intercourse. Perhaps they are scared of asking their partners for oral sex, or perhaps not, but either way they would be better off if they simply asked their wives and girlfriends for what they want rather than assuming she won’t do it and taking themselves to prostitutes. It’s bad for the wallet and bad for their mental health – there is a lot of guilt and STI anxiety among these men!

If these men are wanting to do something a little bit kinky, they might be surprised at how willing and adventurous their partners might be. Women like sex just as much as men and there’s no better place to explore one’s kinky side than in a happy monogamous relationship.

The second point about how all men are potential rapists, stated by a couple of the respondents to the research, is incredibly sexist, outdated, and just simply not true.

“Sometimes you might rape someone: you can go to a prostitute instead.” Another put it like this: “A desperate man who wants sex so bad, he needs sex to be relieved. He might rape.”

If men seriously think this on a large scale then work needs to be done in sex education and we, as a society, need to address how we teach boys about sex when they are young. Men are physically capable of rape, yes. But most men recoil at the thought of actually raping someone. They are human, too, and want loving respectful relationships just as much as any woman.

I hope the results of the research come out soon because I have a feeling when they do that these few comments will not be in the majority.

How could the sex trade be reduced? Examine the laws; “If I’d get in trouble for doing it, I wouldn’t do it. In this country [the UK], the police are fine with men visiting prostitutes.”

So, why do men use prostitutes? Because they can get away with it.