Oral Sex During Menstruation

Dear Madame X,

My boyfriend REFUSES to go down on me when I have my period. He just point-blank refuses. He says it’s disgusting and he doesn’t like the smell or taste. I told him he was being sexist and that there is nothing wrong with it. We can do everything else when I have my period, and he lets me go down on him. Can you please enlighten him to his double standard?

Wants to Surf the Red Tide

Dear Wants to Surf the Red Tide,

I appreciate that you feel like you are being rejected here, but seriously?! You are bleeding for a couple of days a month, shedding the lining of your uterus, expelling your insides to the out, and you expect your boyfriend to ingest this without question?

Although there is nothing wrong with your period, in that it’s perfectly safe to ingest (so long as you don’t have any blood-borne viruses like HIV or hepatitis C), this is not sexist behaviour no matter what you might think. Sexism is when you discriminate against someone because of their sex. And yes, the only reason you are bleeding is because you are a woman, but refusing to eat the lining of your uterus is not sexism.

Would you want to give your boyfriend a blow job if his penis was bleeding and chunks of skin were coming out with it? I doubt it.

My prescription for this situation is to relax and enjoy. You seem to have a good sex life from what you’ve said and if your boyfriend is willing to do everything else when you have your period then I’m sure you can survive a couple of days without getting oral sex.

If you can’t get over this you need to take a good hard look at why it is so important to you that he does this.

Just give him a break and enjoy all the other goodies that your sex life has to offer – if this is the only sexual problem you have in your relationship then you are doing well.

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