Fortune Cat: Your Life This Week
February 27, 2010 No Comments
I know your future, at least as far as next week. As a cat I can see things that others can’t (and chase things that are not there). Take a deep breath and be prepared to meet your fate. It may be scary, it might be terrifying, but at least you’ll know what’s coming.
Pisces
February 19 – March 19
You will prick your finger on a spinning wheel, forcing you to examine your obsession with princesses.
Aries
March 20 – April 18
A wiggly tooth foretells scurvy.
Taurus
April 19 – May 19
Your vet bill will be identical to the amount you should not have spent on shoes last week.
Gemini
May 20- June 19
The end of a major, international sporting event will bring peace to your home.
Cancer
June 20 – July 21
Things will get better very soon (they couldn’t really get worse now, could they?).
Leo
July 22 – August 21
You will be bored.
Virgo
August 22 – September 21
A cooking disaster will lead to an unexpected culinary masterpiece. However you will have no idea how it came about because you were drunk at the time.
Libra
September 22 – October 22
A woman will dance into your life stealing your heart, but aiming for your wallet.
Scorpio
October 23 – November 20
A long journey will lead you to the pot at the end of the rainbow.
Sagittarius
November 21 – December 20
Your roommate will walk in on you sitting in the dark, with the blinds drawn, watching The Bachelor finale.
Capricorn
December 21 – January 19
Photos of a friend’s wedding make you grateful you are a lesbian.
Aquarius
January 20 – February 18
You will discover the meaning of life and be very disappointed.
