Fortune Cat: Your Life This Week
March 14, 2010 No Comments
I know your future, at least as far as next week. Ok, so I may not have any training but I am a cat and everyone knows we can see things that others can’t (and chase things that are not there). Take a deep breath and be prepared to meet your fate. It may be scary, it might be terrifying, but at least you’ll know what’s coming.
Pisces
February 19 – March 19
You will impress your boss with a creative use for palindromes.
Aries
March 20 – April 18
There is nothing you can do to avoid a painful paper-cut.
Taurus
April 19 – May 19
Success in your field will lead to hubris, which will inevitably cause your death and the downfall of your kingdom.
Gemini
May 20- June 19
Call your mom.
Cancer
June 20 – July 21
The fluorescent light at work will slowly drive you insane.
Leo
July 22 – August 21
You revert to Islam.
Virgo
August 22 – September 21
The Mexican food near your house is not as good as it used to be.
Libra
September 22 – October 22
When the plans that you made over a year ago come to fruition, and all the work completed, you will be filled with a sense of emptiness.
Scorpio
October 23 – November 20
The internet is not as anonymous as you think (they are watching you).
Sagittarius
November 21 – December 20
The iphone v. blackberry decision you have been obsessing over for months will end when you lose your hearing.
Capricorn
December 21 – January 19
Laugh more.
Aquarius
January 20 – February 18
You can’t get it all done, so don’t even try.
