Terrorism And Exploding Breasts

Female suicide bombers just got sexier.

Called Black Widows in the press, they conjure up image of the ultimate Dominatrix. Their ruthlessness is a turn on; their cruelty, oh so hot.

The latest bit of titillating news is that they are also inserting bombs into their breasts.

British spies have discovered that women are being fitted with exploding breast implants. The Sun reports:

The shocking new al-Qaeda tactic involves radical doctors inserting the explosives in women’s breasts during plastic surgery — making them “virtually impossible to detect by the usual airport scanning machines”.

That’s right, breasts are now lethal weapons. Lord knows security personnel will have a blast trying to work out how to screen for this.

Of course titillation is the last thing that a devout Muslim woman wants to encourage in strange men. How does the modesty of the religion deal with the overt aggression of female suicide bombers? Not well.

Dr Anat Berko wrote in her book that Hamas is opposed to women being involved in terrorist activities because it involves a lack of modesty. To disguise themselves as Israelis they may have to wear revealing clothing, which is not acceptable even if the end is for a noble cause.

And that is not all. There is a problem about what happens after the explosion. A dead woman cannot choose which parts of her body are covered. Berko interviewed a man whose sister blew herself up. “A woman must not expose her body. When a woman blows herself up, not all the parts of her body become tiny bits of flesh,” he said.

That’s right. Female suicide bombers get into trouble when the scraps of flesh blown off their body are exposed.

Of course, the breast bombs can go a long way to circumventing this problem. The key seems to be centering the explosives around the areas of a woman that are the most offensive. That way it is guaranteed that their male family members won’t be shamed when an errant piece of ear lands on the pavement for all to see.

As Berko said: “Even after they have died, these women do not have full rights to their own body”

Sexy.