Rape As Torture

Dear Madame X,

I don’t understand how rape works. I’ve read reports about soldiers in Africa who are forced, at gun point, to rape women as part of their ethnic cleansing. Afterward many of them say that they didn’t want to. If they really don’t want to, how did they get it up? Also, the instances of civilian rape are increasing in areas of Africa where rape is used as a weapon of war. Does this mean that men can develop a taste for rape? Is this something they can be cured of?

Rape as a Weapon

Dear Rape as a Weapon,

That is a very good question and I’ll try to do it justice.

It’s usually women who are raped but when thinking about victims it’s important to remember that men can be raped as well, and often are.

You have to look at where this is happening. In cultures where the women are seen as property rape is much more common than in those where women are seen as free and equal individuals. For men raised in these cultures it may be easier for them to rape than someone raised in other cultures.

During war a lot of soldiers don’t fully agree with their orders, but are fearful for their own lives so they go along with it for their own safety, like you said.

You asked about how they keep an erection. One of the things about the body is then when it receives physical stimulation it will respond as a reflex. This means that although his mind might not be happy, his body certainly is. This is very important for people to keep in mind when thinking about rape. Just because someone could keep an erection, or had an orgasm, doesn’t say anything about their state of mind; it is a reflex as much as your leg kicking out when you hit your knee. And this is important to remember when looking at both the victims and the unwilling (but unable to see any option) perpetrators.

Sometimes it is done for sexual gratification and the prisoner is seen as a slave that should do whatever they ask. Other times it is used specifically as a form of torture, humiliation, and dominance.

Research has shown that it is usually a minority of men involved, but the others do not attempt to stop it.

The men who rape are usually “violent and antisocial, with the sexual aspect of the offence being secondary to the habit of using force to get what they want”.

Can men develop a taste for rape? That I’m not sure about. I think (I hope) probably not. Like I said those men who rape seem to fit a very specific profile already. It’s even been found that some men who like to rape seek out job that would make this easier (like soldiers), kind of like pedophiles try to get jobs as teachers.

Because of this, and because a lot of men are forced to rape others in extreme circumstances, it’s unlikely people who fit those profiles will do it voluntarily.

I like to believe in the greater good of human kind and that most men would much rather have a happy and willing partner than one they have forced.

Rape, and rape as torture, are disgusting practices but sadly I don’t think it will stop any time soon.

If you are concerned about yourself or a friend who has been raped many countries have rape help associations.

Medical Foundation for the Care of Victims of Torture

Rape Crisis Network Europe (also has some worldwide links)

Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (North America)

Or, do a google search for “rape crisis” plus the name of your country or city and you should get some links coming up.

Some information taken from report “Rape as a Method of Torture” by Dr. Michael Peel of the Medical Foundation for the Care of Victims of Torture.

This column will appear every Wednesday to spice up your week.

Please email me with any and all questions about sex and relationships and I will answer them in this column.