Will My Wife Still Be Skinny After Having A Baby?

Dear Madame X,

My wife is pregnant and I’m terrified, not of the baby but of how she’ll look afterwards. She’s a beautiful woman and that is one of the reasons I married her. Since getting pregnant she has literally ballooned — her thighs are enormous and are rubbing together when she walks. It’s a major turn off. She says she’s eating for two but I don’t want to tell her that she shouldn’t be eating for two Sumo wrestlers. How can I convince her to lay off the ice cream now and hit the gym later? This will lead to serious health problems.

Worried about Wife’s Weight

Dear Worried,

We live in a weight obsessed society and pregnant women are (sadly) not exempt from this. I’m sure the way she looks now is quite different from before she was pregnant, but that does not mean she is unhealthy.

You said her thighs are rubbing together and that you don’t like it. Well, perhaps you have an unrealistic idea of what a normal weight for a woman is because, for the vast majority of us, our thighs always rub together. Take a look next time you are out and about, but, actually, having a gap between your thighs is a sign of being underweight (which is actually more risky than being slightly overweight).

Something you must remember is that weight gain during pregnancy is absolutely necessary for the healthy development of the baby. And women can gain upwards of 35lbs (depending on their pre-pregnancy weight) during this time.

After she has the baby, just the natural process of giving birth and being a mother will mean she will naturally lose a lot of the weight. Just producing milk burns more than 1000 calories a day.

I think the important thing is to focus on “health” and not “weight”. If your wife is healthy, eats well, and is active, then there should be no reason to think her weight will cause problems in the future.

I would highly recommend you do not talk to your wife about her weight. Chances are, like I said, that the weight will come off naturally after she gives birth. Most women lose the baby weight by the time their child is one year old, if not sooner.

You love her, you think she’s beautiful, and I’m sure you will love the baby that you two have together, so it’s unlikely that a few extra pounds will get in the way of that love.

Are you having trouble in your sex life? You did say it is a turn off. It’s important to remember that there’s not much she can do about her body at this time, and putting pressure on her to be sexy and slim might just hurt her. If you really are having trouble, you can always talk to your GP or a counsellor about your feelings, but be careful what you say to her.

Your wife will have enough to deal with without having pressure from you to be skinny. So, if you are still worried about her weight after the baby is born then you can work it out when the time comes. But for now, focus on supporting your wife through this pregnancy and caring for your new baby, but not on the width of her thighs.  Chances are, this won’t be a problem and you will have wasted your time worrying about it.

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