It Takes Balls To Get Snipped

A lot of men are doing it, but no one likes to talk about it.

But with a world leaders admitting he’s gone under the knife for that special little snip, perhaps the vasectomy will become recognized for what it is — the manliest of procedures.

New Zealand Prime Minister John Key told reporters that he had undergone the operation.

Speaking at a conference about childcare the PM was asked what he would do if his wife had another child. He responded: ‘I’d be extremely worried – because I’ve had a vasectomy.’

‘It’s probably too much information for the purposes of a press conference.’
The stunned hacks did not respond. ‘Boy, that’s slowed things down. Any other questions?’ he said.
A Radio New Zealand reporter finally asked: ‘Did it hurt?’
‘Not overly, actually,’ said Mr Key, who was then asked if it was a budget cut.
‘All I can say is it’s been highly successful, but we won’t get into that either.’

For many couples this is simple the most rational solution to the dilemma posed by wanting sex but not wanting a pregnancy.

It is a simple procedure where the vas deferens are cut (a teeny, tiny cut) stopping the sperm from traveling from the balls to the penis. With a failure rate of 1 in 2000 it is a far more effective method of birth control than anything else out there, including condoms and the pill.

It is also about ten times more effective than when a woman gets her tubes tied, where the failure rate is 1 in 200 and a woman has to get knocked out and cut open. In fact, the only birth control method that is more effective is abstinence, but that has its own drawbacks.

As a woman who has spent her entire sex life trying to fend off pregnancy, the idea that a man can take over the responsibility is a welcome relief.

The hormones found in the pill, the ring, implants, the shot and the patch all mess around with our bodies and our minds in a serious way.

When I am on them I am weepy. Yesterday a dancing baby made me cry. Why? I have no idea. I also cried during King Kong and Bruce Almighty. It is disconcerting to suddenly change from a  self-assertive 21st Century woman into a Victorian lady with delicate sensibilities.

My friends and I also find that it makes us a little less mentally clear. I am usually quite sharp but on those hormones I feel a little as if I spent all night doing taxes and have not had any coffee yet.

It kills the sex drive of some women and turns others into roaring bitches. It makes some put on weight and gives others headaches. You can see why many women are thrilled at the option of never taking them again.

Of course there are other options. Women can insert copper Ts into their uteruses, but many find this extraordinarily painful. It is often accompanied by heavy periods and cramps. Doctors do not recommend this method for women without children.

And then there are the pre-sex options. The only thing less sexy than stopping mid-kiss to roll on a condom is stopping to spread spermicidal gel on a diaphragm before inserting it into the vagina. Hot!

I guess what I am trying to say is that there is no easy birth control options. As wonderful as they all are, they all suck in their individual ways.

Women have to deal with the consequences of all these methods and we generally do so without complaining because, hey, we like sex.

But so do men.

Which is why stepping up to the plate and taking a hit for the matrimonial team is the manliest choice.