Searching For A Weightless Wedding?

Worried that your giant ass will cause embarrassment for your and your groom?

No? Well you should be.

The new ad campaign from Slim Fast wants to remind brides that they really should make the effort to lose that final five before the wedding — otherwise hilarious calamity will ensue.

The ad shows a series of brides and grooms on top of cakes. The slim, long-suffering groom struggles to deal with this fat wife, who at one point actually falls into the cake.

(I don’t remember the last time icing sugar supported my weight. Time to break out the tin of Slim Fast!)

The ads are cute and funny. But the problem is that the overall message is that you aren’t good enough for your groom on your wedding day.

And of course, there is no corresponding ad suggesting that grooms lose some weight. They are assured that their brides love them for who they are. (What a crazy notion to have on your wedding day!)

Obviously, Slim Fast is not the healthiest way to shed pounds. The random tin I found (in my desk) lists sugar as the first ingredient and oil as the third, followed by 17 other science-experiment sounding elements.

I guess if you can’t win rationally minded customers, you need to find some hysterically panicked ones, and who better than brides to fit the bill.

I don’t know about you, but I find this last one kind of sexy. There are plenty of grooms out there who would be thrilled with a bride sporting such a prominent derrière — and to have her thong peaking naughtily out of her wedding dress — Yowza!

Lets just say that this couple looks like they’ll be having a good honeymoon, starting in the coatroom about 5 minutes after the ceremony.

(Maybe it’s time to retire the Slim Fast after all…)