Can A Three Person Relationship Work?

Dear Madame X,

I have been sleeping with two women on and off for about a year now. They are both pushing me for an exclusive relationship. However, I care for them both very deeply, and wish we could enter a three person relationship. I think they would get on really well. What is the best way to broach this topic?

Three’s Company

Dear Three’s Company,

It is definitely possible to have a three person relationship and there are people out there who believe in open relationships and alternative style couplings. But if that’s what you want then you may have to go elsewhere to find it.

It seems pretty obvious from what you say that these women both want to be your only girlfriend and don’t want to share you for any longer than they already have.

I also think that if you think you can change their minds and convince them to enter a three person relationship then you are probably deluding yourself.

What you need to do is make a decision. If you want to enter a three person relationship as your first choice, you need to own that. Tell them it’s what you want and see what the results are.

Just be prepared that if they don’t want it then you will probably lose them both. This is because it will be pretty clear that whoever you choose to stay with after that will only be your second choice, and nobody wants to come in second place.

It’s unfortunate that you may end up losing them both, and I feel sorry that you might suffer a loss like this, but it seems the majority of people prefer to be monogamous.

If you decide that you just don’t like either one of them enough to be exclusive, then it’s probably best that you break it off with them instead of leading them on. Go and find someone you do like enough to be monogamous with.

However, if you decide that open relationships are your prefered choice, then you can try looking for a community of people who feel the same way as you. Looking online for a community is probably a good place to start. That way, next time, you will all know what you are getting into from the start and less hearts will end up being broken.

This column will appear every Wednesday to spice up your week.

Please email me with any and all questions about sex and relationships and I will answer them in this column.