Anal Leakage?

Dear Madame X,

My boyfriend wants to be a backdoor man, if you catch my drift. I’m pretty game about stuff but I’ve heard that it can increase your chances of anal leakage when you’re older. Is this true? Is there anything we can do it avoid it? If he does poke my poop shoot is there anything I can do to make it comfortable? I heard it hurts.

Anal Thing Goes

Dear Anal Thing Goes,

It’s great that you’re willing to experiment with anal sex if that’s something you and your boyfriend want. It can be an odd sensation in the beginning, and might take a few tries to get used to, after all you’re used to things coming out, not going in!

The anus is surrounded by a muscle and this is why it can be difficult or painful because the automatic reaction tends to be to try to close it up if you are not used to anal sex.

Just make sure you are the one in control and you tell him how you are feeling, this will allow you to enjoy it more and not have to worry as much about being uncomfortable. Please make sure that you let him know if you are feeling any pain so he can slow down or stop. Remember you are the one in control and if you want it to stop, it should stop.

By using lots of lubrication, going slowly, and perhaps starting with something small like fingers, you can get used to the sensation, slowly open up the muscle to allow him inside, and perhaps even start to enjoy it. Plenty of people do!

In terms of anal leakage, that is more of a rumor than anything else. It’s true that in the hours after anal sex the muscle around the anus might be a bit looser than usual, but this usually goes back to normal after a short time and is nothing to worry about.

Injury to the anal muscles is what can lead to anal leakage, but this doesn’t normally happen simply from anal sex, and certainly not if you have anal sex only occasionally. It is possible if you have it on a regular basis that your anus will become weaker, but research shows conflicting results and because it’s not clear, I’d say it’s nothing to worry about. Otherwise wouldn’t a whole lot more of the population be walking around in diapers?

He might want to wear a condom, even if you have both been cleared for STIs, because sometimes the bacteria from your anus can get inside his urethra and cause inflammation and pain. Not a huge deal, but not very nice either (it’s called Non-Specific Urethritis). Also, if you are switching from your anus to other orifices during sex, make sure to use a new condom so that you don’t irritate yourself with the bacteria from your anus.

And don’t be misled by all of these instructions, once you know what you are doing it is a simple, fun, and exciting experience. Enjoy!

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