Sister Dresses “Slutty”

Dear Madame X,

My sister likes to wear low cut tops and she is a real flirt. We are having an anniversary dinner for my parents and inviting all sides of the family, many people who don’t know her very well. I’m worried she’ll cause a scene. We’re used to her sitting on laps and making certain kinds of jokes but I don’t think everyone will be ok with it this year. She is my sister and I can’t not invite her but how can I stop this?

Not the Slutty Sister

Dear Not the Slutty Sister,

You don’t say how old she is, but I assume she is old enough to understand what she’s doing.

It’s possible that she will tone down her behaviour for this event knowing that so many extended family and friends are coming; she is a grown adult after all. But just to be safe you might want to talk to her.

Have the conversation a few weeks before so any bad vibes between you two will be gone in time for the party.

Start soft and ask her what she thinks of her behaviour. Perhaps point out the negative reactions other people have had (I assume you can’t be the only one) so that she can see it’s not just you being the bossy sister.

She needs to know that her behaviour is inappropriate and what’s suitable when out with her friends at the bar is certainly not the right behaviour for great-uncle John. And help her with her wardrobe by suggesting outfits that you think she looks good in (but that aren’t too short or low-cut). This way she won’t be getting an all negative review from you. Be firm but gentle.

But in the end you really need to remember that she is an individual adult and makes her own decisions and there’s nothing you can do about it. The best you can do is offer suggestions but after that it’s up to her.

And if she doesn’t listen to you, at least with so many friends and family around, chances are no one will take to much notice because of all the other excitement going on.

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