What He Thinks About During Sex

A single male friend of mine told me that when men are having sex they think about one of three things – the person they’re having sex with, someone they had sex with in the past or someone they would like to have sex with in the future. That’s a pretty good answer and probably true for most men at one time or another.

Another married friend explained that as sex was generally unplanned, time-limited and under great threat of being interrupted by any number of domestic booby-traps he began most sexual liaisons by calculating the days or weeks that had passed since the last time and finished by wondering how long he would have to wait until next time.

Only one friend was keen to delve a tiny bit deeper into the sexy specifics – “I’m wondering who’ll get the happy ending. If she cums first I can just go for it, close the deal, and drift off into a blissful sleep. If I cum first I have to simultaneously fight my bodily need to nod-off while also doing the fiddly, sophisticated manoeuvres you have to do to satisfy a women.”

I have to admit that while I enjoyed these responses I was hoping for more specific, revealing, even kinkier answers but really, why would I expect anything more than what was offered? If a man is really, really lucky he can reveal his fantasies, kinks and perversions and discuss his hang-ups, physical problems or whatever with only one person, the one he loves best – his partner.

Keeping this in mind I’ll let my friends keep their dirty little secrets to themselves and put some pressure back on myself. What I really think about sex is dictated by how often I (men in general) think about sex and that can range anywhere between the seven second myth and the Kinsey study but averages out, most days, to a hell-of-a-lot.

So when my wife and I manage to navigate through the kids, the housework, the paid work, and any unforeseen illnesses and events that happen to every family and actually manage to have sex it doesn’t matter whether we’re offering a one-way service behind the laundry door or managing a quickie, or spending an exhausting but satisfying marathon role-playing session with a box of rubber toys and our favourite mail-order DVDs, and it doesn’t matter if the time “between drinks” has been one day, two days or a week, the one joyous thought that occupies my mind is the same one I had when I was in the process of losing my virginity and that is, “Oh yeah! I can’t believe I’m actually doing it!” (And not just thinking about it).

And that’s the truth, but the whole truth? That’ll just have to stay between me and my wife.