Golden Showers And Hygiene

Dear Madame X,

I really like golden showers, specifically when my lady pees in my mouth. My new girlfriend is hesitant about it and says that it is unhygienic and that under no circumstances will she do it. Can you please explain to her that pee is one of the most hygienic substances on earth, because it is made up of ammonia?

Pees and Thank You

Dear Pees and Thank You,

Regardless of how much you like this you need to respect the wishes of your lady. If she doesn’t want to do it, then she doesn’t want to do it.

But I can confirm that pee is basically safe.

If she pees onto any broken skin then there is a theoretical risk of infections, so you might want to keep it in mind.

These could be things like hepatitis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, herpes, or fungal infections. But there is no risk for HIV.

Chances are you won’t get anything because I can’t find any records of infection in this way, but if she does have any STIs you might want to think about what this might mean for you.

So go ahead and explain all of this to her, but, based on what you’ve told me, chances are she is set against it, regardless of the evidence.

But please don’t hold this against her or let it ruin your sex life. Water sports, golden showers, or whatever you want to call them are unusual activities.

It may be she will try it out of love for you, but you can definitely have just as satisfying a sex life without her peeing on you.

This column will appear every Wednesday to spice up your week. Please email me with any and all questions about sex and relationships and I will answer them in this column.