F-ing Pharmacist And His Fungal Freak Out

The other day I went to a local pharmacy and asked for some medication. It was late and there was only one other person in the store, and she was busy looking at diapers three aisles over.

I told him what I wanted in a perfectly normal (not loud) tone of voice. He blushed and whispered “A yeast infection?” while taking my arm and gently guiding me out of the line of sight of the only other person in the store (who was still about 30 feet away).

“A vaginal infection,” I clarified, because the medication I wanted was actually an antibiotic.

“Come with me,” he whispered as he slunk to the appropriate aisle, moving quickly and looking around furtively.

Once there, he tried to flee as quickly as possible, but I was on to his game.

“Will any of these actually help? Because I’m pretty sure I need an antibiotic,” I said, again in a normal tone of voice, trying to emphasize the fact that I was a customer asking for his professional opinion.

“You could try,” he said, again trying to escape to the shadows of the pharmacists’ window.

“But,” I said and he stopped and sighed, finally resigned to the fact that I wanted my questions answered.

“… which one would you recommend? Are there any which could mimic the effect of the antibiotic?,” I asked, knowingly torturing the man. It wasn’t my finest moment but when he practically threw a box at me and sprinted back to his office I felt justified.

I just don’t get it. He’s a medical man and surely yeast infections were covered at school. If not, I imagine in the decade or so he was worked at a pharmacy he has seen thousands of women come in wanting the same treatment… and he’s hardly in danger of catching it from me.

If he had lowered his voice in response to a shy or nervous customer I would totally understand, but I made a point to speak normally, using a conversational (not conspiratorial) volume. I doubt he whispers and pulls people with fungal infections on their feet into a corner. He would have responded with much less disgust if I had a respiratory infection or a sore throat — both of which I could easily pass on.

Nope. He just couldn’t stand the grossness of a vagina with an out of whack pH balance.