Fido Is Family, But Your Gay Lover Can Get A Motel

Your family is expanding. Who would you rather pick?

• Option A has a reputation for good personal hygiene, cleanliness and impeccable manners.
• Option B has a reputation for being loud, drooling, stealing food and licking his balls on the couch.

A third of Americans say they would pick Option B (perhaps because the only balls he’ll lick are his own).

A study done by Brian Powell at Indiana University found that only 30% said that pets count as family, but a same-sex couple without children does not.

“The sheer idea that gay couples are given less status than pets should give us pause,” said Powell.

The good news is that 68% of people consider a same-sex couple with children family, up from 54% in 2003.

“Same-sex marriage is a dangerous social experiment,” said Glenn Stanton, director of family formation studies for Focus on the Family. “A lesbian couple who legally married in Massachusetts — are they family? We would say, ‘Absolutely not.’”

“We’re moving in this headlong direction toward same-sex families without any intelligent discussion about whether it’s actually good for the children and the adults.”

What about asking whether it is good for the pets?

The money being spent on research to determine whether two women who have promised to love and cherish each other for the rest of their lives are family would be better spent on determining whether an inter-species family is acceptable.

No one has really looked at it or questioned it but suddenly 65% of American homes contain at least one pet. Unlike an adult, the pet cannot communicate their needs or desires.

• Does not having a backyard affect a dog’s quality of life?
• Does the constant mockery of children affect a cat’s self-esteem?
• Does the fact that chinchillas are different make them more likely to be the target of bullying?
• Are pets raised in human households more likely to think that they are human?

Before we can move forward as a society, we need to answer these questions. I expect that once Glenn Stanton hears of these shocking findings he’ll divert his attentions immediately to this new threat to the modern family.

It is true that family is the bedrock of society. If it is built on narrow-minded ideas, or hate manages to chip away at the foundation, it will topple and everything that relies upon it will fall down. Hopefully people like that lesbian couple in Massachusetts will have enough love to help hold it all together.