Advice From The Victorians (On The Subjects Of Marriage, Sleeping In And Balding)
October 5, 2010 4 Comments
People often blame feminism for the changing relations between men and women, but with the republishing of a Victorian house management book it is clear that not much has changed in the last 150 years. Enquire Within Upon Everything was first published in 1856 and contained information on everything from etiquette to laundry tips to first aid.
Their advice for husbands:
- First, get a wife; second, be patient. You may have great trials in your business with the world, but do not carry to your home a clouded brow. Your wife may have trials, which, though of less magnitude, may have been as hard to bear. A kind, conciliating word, a tender look, will do wonders in chasing from her brow all clouds of gloom.
- When your husband is absent, instead of looking into shop windows, look over that paper; and at tea-time, when your husband again takes it up, say: “my dear, what an awful state of things there seems to be in India” or “what a terrible calamity at the Glasgow theatre” or ‘”Trade appears to be flourishing in the north!” and down will go the paper. If he has not read the information, he will hear it all from your lips, and when you have done, he will ask: “did you, my dear, read Simpson’s letter upon the discovery of chloroform?” And whether you did or not, you will gradually get into as cosy a chat as you ever enjoyed.
Yes, the implication that a woman would rather shop than read the paper is maddening, but what both pieces of advice are saying is true — a marriage needs some common ground. It was probably much harder to do in the Victorian era when the roles of men and women were to divided. Men are told to accept that the trials of home can be just as difficult as their day at the office, and women are requested to keep an eye on the world outside their own windows. Either way, both are asked to be understanding of their partners.
Some of the other advice is fascinating.
Why you should wake up at 6am.
- The difference between rising every day at 6am and at 8am, in the course of 40 years, amounts to 29,200 hours, or three years 121 days and 16 hours, which is equal to eight hours a day for ten years. So that rising at 6am will be the same as if ten years of life were added.
While others are slightly suspect, such as their cure for baldness:
- Onions rubbed frequently on the part requiring it. The powers of this vegetable are of service in restoring the tone of the skin and assisting the capillary vessels in sending forth new hair; but it is not infallible. Should it succeed, the growth of these new hairs may be assisted by the oil of myrtle berries.
The world is an entirely new place — there are women who wear suits to work and men who feed their babies — and yet some things stay the same: “Between husband and wife, little attentions beget much love.” Now if only we could work that into a reality show.
I have this book circa 1893…
How is it?
Still in excellent shape, and actually alot of things in there are really informative! You really can Inquire Within the book!
What a great resource!