For The Love Of A Good Lawyer — Prenups Come To The United Kingdom (Too Late For Paul)

The pre-nup has washed up on the shores of Britain. Courts in England and Wales have finally accepted pre-nuptial agreements as legally binding documents.

Is this a triumph of cold-hearted capitalism over love? Undoubtedly, but that doesn’t mean it is not a good thing.

Marriage has always been a contract between two people to love each other (and all that entails — richer, poorer, sick, health, etc.), so why not allow the parties to negotiate their own terms?

You might say that planning for the divorce before you walk down the aisle clearly shows where the relationship is headed, but for some it provides some much needed security, allowing them to enter into the vulnerability that essential to married life.

It can also give you a little glimpse into what is really important to your future spouse. Some provisions of actual pre-nups include:

– The right to perform random drug tests, with a monetary penalty for positive results.

– A spouse being limited to no more than one football game on Sunday during the season.

– A spouse being allowed to opt out of all vacations with in-laws.

– The use of frequent-flier miles as payback if a spouse was proven to be cheating.

– A payout of $100,000 for every time a spouse cheated.

– Limiting a wife’s weight to 120 pounds, with a penalty of $100,000 if she exceeded that limit.

My main problem with these contracts is that they set in stone what should be a fluid arrangement — the constant negotiation that makes up a marriage. Spouses are always making concessions to one another’s happinesses but these little gifts can’t be demanded.

And who knows what the future holds? Perhaps your in-laws will watch the Sunday game on their new 3D television, throwing the whole arrangement completely out of whack.