Cat Fights Are Not A Natural Part Of Female Evolution

Men will put “bros before hos” but women have a much less loyal reputation.

Apparently, we like to put each other down to big ourselves up. We will throw our dearest friend under the bus for a speck of male attention, or the chance to get some shoes on sale. At least, that’s what the media would have us believe.

In fact, Kelly Valen is writing a whole book on the subject, The Twisted Sisterhood. She explained her story in an article for the New York Times — when she was raped in university her sorority sisters turned against her and now she distrusts women.

• One minute I was hosting all-girl slumber parties, the next thing I knew a tsunami of mean-girling descended and I found myself feeling awkward and wary around women for more than a decade. Expectations ran high, the let-down cut deep, and the fall from that innocent sisterly grace proved very, very steep.

Her book is a clarion call for women to stand up and say that they won’t take it any more. She told the Times:

• I think that some women don’t really want to believe this is going on. The cat-fighting is what sells, that’s what people love to talk about — it’s Angelina versus Jen all over the media, all the gossip at the office. But no one is talking about what this does to people.

It sounds like she had a really terrible experience, but I don’t think women are especially terrible to one another. She argues that the closeness that women fake have with one another makes the hurt that much more painful, but I think it gives women a larger responsibility to care for their friends. More is expected.

Cat fights sell and men preeen at the idea that we would throw one another under the bus for their attention — that’s why they get so much media attention — but that stereotype of womanhood has as much truth to it as the blonde bimbo. Some women are evil, some men are vicious and we are all lucky to find good friends who are neither.

She is right that women can tear each other to shreds. But so can men. So can couples. It is not what is between your legs which determines whether you are an asshole, but what is between your ears.

Contact the author here: mick@morningquickie.com