Kids Don’t Need To Sleep Together To Fuck
January 18, 2011 2 Comments
A woman wrote in to an agony aunt asking whether she should allow her 24 year old to sleep with her long term boyfriend when she comes to visit. Rowan Pelling replied:
- You are not telling your daughter not to share a bed with her boyfriend in her own home, just as you wouldn’t dictate how she should vote… Meanwhile, my parents-in-law always put my husband and I in twin beds, even after we were married! Those who find this unnecessarily prudish should remember how most children are appalled by any reminder their parents have had sex. To be honest, I think most families find it hard to think about any relative in an erotic light. Most of us feel the same as we did at 12 when we watched an older sibling snog some teenager and went: ‘Yuck!’
Her ridiculous solution to these uncomfortable feelings is to allow adult children to sleep in the same room, but different beds, as their partners. This way everyone gets to live in a comfortable state of denial.
The fact is their kids are probably so weirded out about being home that getting their freak on is the last thing on their minds. Chances are they spend almost every night together anyway, whether or not they are living together officially. They don’t want to fuck, they just want to sleep together.
Personally I think it is rude and disrespectful to invite someone’s partner into your home and then not properly acknowledge their status as your child’s lover. It is not as if the parents are expected to sleep in different beds when they have guests over.
Forcing everyone in the house to live in a state of denial is not the answer. It is good that adult children have healthy sexual relationships. Whether the partner ends up being a future in-law, or just the future butt of a joke, he or she is an important part of your child’s life. If you aren’t respecting that role then your aren’t respecting your child.
Just like it’s not good parenting to treat your pre-adolescent like an adult, it’s bad to treat your adult child like a teen. Parents need to get over their “Yuck!” and grow up.
Contact the author here: mick@morningquickie.com
I like the “future butt of a joke” fate!
I have to disagree on this one. While it may be unfortunate that people “live in a comfortable state of denial”, it’s also a matter of respect for other peoples beliefs and being guests in their homes. I’m a thirty-six year old woman who over the holidays had to sleep separately from my loved one(42 yrs old)while at his mothers house. While this is not something I like, I do like his family and have enough respect for them to follow their wishes. While we should not let other people change who we are or what we believe, neither should we go out of our way to act like an inconsiderate and childish pain in the ass.