Nearly Half Of All Couples Confused About Monogamy
January 24, 2011 No Comments
Sure you’re dating, but are you monogamous?
A recent study found that 40% of heterosexual couples had differing ideas about whether their relationship was sexually exclusive. The survey of 434 heterosexual couples aged 18-25 found that many times one person is convinced the couple is monogamous while the other believes they have an open relationship.
In addition to the heart ache and trust issues, STIs will also pose a problem. It could be that extra-curricular sexual activity by one partner could leave the other open to disease — a decision about condoms that might have been different if the pair were on the same page.
Having a kid made couples less likely to discuss the issue, while marriage had no effect on whether the pair had an explicit agreement in place. When the couples did come to a consensus on the definition of monogamy, and agree to it, one third of the relationships still involved cheating.
How can you prevent this problem in your relationship? I call it the talking cure.
1. Ask your lover what he expects and tell him what you expect — then reach an agreement you are both happy with. It may feel awkward but at least you’ll know the lay of the land.
2. Get tested. Between every relationship have a routine test for STIs. I’m sure he was a nice guy and he probably didn’t cheat — but there is no reason your future partner needs to take your ex at his word.
Contact the author here: mick@morningquickie.com
