Court Bans Man From Having Sex Because He’s Not Smart Enough

A 41 year old man with “a vigorous sex drive” and a steady boyfriend has been ordered to a life of celibacy by a British judge because his IQ is too low.

The judge found that Alan should not be allowed to have sex because he does not understand the health risks associated with his actions. A psychiatrist argued that sexual education would just confuse him. Alan presently believes that “babies are delivered by the stork” and that sex could give him “spots or measles.”

Mr Justice Mostyn ordered that he be kept under close supervision to prevent him from engaging in sexual activity, “other than private masturbation, which he is allowed to perform in the bathroom or in his bedroom.”

The judge said that in order to engage in sexual activity, a person has to understand the mechanics of the act, the fact that health risks are involved and that it could lead to pregnancy.

If these are his requirements he’ll need to order supervision for millions of people. The mechanics of sex are complicated and many people don’t understand how the whole process works, exactly. These are often the same people who are confused about how pregnancy comes about and how diseases are transmitted.

Although public health programs have attempted to remedy the lack of education, there are still people who believe that you can get HIV from a toilet seat or pregnant from oral sex. Many of them have IQs much higher than Alan’s 48. Some of them are even judges.

The issue of what to with mentally impaired people who want to engage in sexual activity is a complicated one, especially when they bring children into the world that they cannot care for. While in the past they were sterilized, this no longer happens as society has decided that it is an abuse of a person’s human rights to stop them from having sex. This order will have the same effect, but without the stomach churning surgery.

The fact is that this order will not stop Alan from being a sexual person. There have already been two instances of him behaving inappropriately with children, although there was no criminal activity. It does not appear that Alan has an STI, nor is he likely to get his male lover pregnant. What good is to be gained from separating him from his boyfriend?

Needless to say, Alan is not happy with this decision and he said: “I want to kiss them again.”

Contact the author here: mick@morningquickie.com