Seeking Pleasure In Little Patties of Delight

Euphemistically called cow pies, these little pats of excrement dot most farmer’s fields, causing annoyance to almost everyone who notices them. Everyone, that is, except David Truscott.

He is facing two years in jail for “bizarre and perverted activities” involving those little patties of delight. His arrest came after he was found masturbating surrounded by cow poop in a neighbour’s field.

Judge Christopher Elwen was right to enforce the restraining order, because no one likes to see anyone seeking solitary pleasure in their backyard, but his moral judgment was pretty far off. Who was the victim here? Since when is kinkiness a crime?

Unlike some predilections, such as bestiality or car crashes, no one is getting hurt. It may not be common, but there is nothing at all wrong about being turned on by cow feces.

There is something supremely messed up with the judicial process when a man gets hard time for abusing cow patties, but another man gets probation after paying for sex with an underage teenager who was beaten into submission.

Contact the author here: mick@morningquickie.com