How To Help Girls Survive Adolescence

People are constantly complaining about the state of teenagers today, yet hardly anyone is brave enough to delve into their world and try to find out what’s going on.

Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls, by Dr. Mary Pipher, does just that.

Through her work with adolescent girls as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Phipher describes to us the problems that adolescent girls are having and what we can do to help them. Granted, this book was written in the mid-90s, but it is still relevant today.

Her main argument is that regardless of what parents do, girls are still raised in a culture full of sexism, lookism, drugs and alcohol, and high school is a time where it can all go wrong. She also points out that not all sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll are bad; it’s normal to experiment and adults have to be careful not to demonize all of this kind of behaviour.

She suggests that girls are “androgynous” as children, but once puberty hits they are forced to feminize according to cultural standards and by doing so many lose a sense of who they really are. The best thing adults can do is help girls keep track of who they are and what they want in life. Help them use their “North Star” to guide them and give them space to follow their own path, but with parental supervision and love.

• Let’s work toward a culture in which there is a place for every human gift, in which children are safe and protected, women are respected and men and women can love each other as whole human beings… Then our daughters will have a place where all their talents will be appreciated, and they can flourish like green trees under the sun and the stars.

Pipher uses case studies to look into topics around divorce, sexual abuse, eating disorders, drugs and alcohol, mental health problems, relationships with mothers, and relationships with fathers.

This is a great book with good advice for parents and anyone working with teenage girls on how to help them through these tumultuous years. Being an adult woman, it also provided me with a reminder of what me and my friends went through and helped me see how we were able to overcome some of the greatest pressures while giving in to others.

I’d highly recommend this for anyone who has daughters or who works with teenage girls. It won’t fix everything, but it will show you how you can provide guidance along the way.

Contact the author here: mack@morningquickie.com