The L-Word

In a relationship, sometimes it’s easier to say the F word than it is to spit out the L word. You can say, “F me harder” or “F you!” but it’s not so easy to put yourself in that oh-so-vulnerable position of saying “I L you” and hoping that the sentiment will be returned. When it comes down to that hug-me-and-want-to-squeeze me gushy love though, someone has to be the first to say it.

For psychologist Josh Ackerman the interesting question is: Who is the first to cave and utter the dreaded “I love you” first?

We’re supposed to be surprised that the study reveals that men are usually the first to say I love you, as Ackerman’s initial research showed that most people believe that a woman is the first to let it out. She’s so emotional she simply can’t help herself! Men are more casual about it, according to this representation of popular belief. They have the L-ing and then they have the F-ing.

Turning popular opinion upside down, Ackerman finds after interviewing 205 straight men and women about their relationship history, that men say it first the majority of the time.

I think many of you will agree that we don’t need a study to tell us this. After all, men usually pump the gas to get our vehicles going (take that how you will), they’re the ones who have to kneel on the ground to ask for our hand in marriage, so sure, why wouldn’t they be the ones to say the L word?

Ackerman’s study digs deeper in his quest to find when and why we say the L word, looking at if we prefer to say it before or after sex. That may be a fun topic to bring up at a party over a few brews, but what really matters is that we say it when we mean it and when we feel it. Before, during or after sex, just let it out.

Contact the author here: tinybart@morningquickie.com