Ever Wish You Had Sexy Armpits?

As though we didn’t have enough to worry about, Dove is now trying to convince us that our armpits are unsightly.

Dove Ultimate: Go Sleeveless, the latest product from Unilever, is designed to give women more attractive underarms, in just five days.

From the company that brought us the Dove Real Beauty campaign, comes the next attempt to not only pander to women’s numerous insecurities about our bodies, but also to create new ones.

This week The Colbert Report revealed the product launch for what it really was; a barely disguised endeavor to make money in a market in which brand loyalty and market shares are relatively stable.

The product is touted as making armpits “ready to reveal,” with the ad showing a young woman vigorously cutting the sleeves off every top in her wardrobe and dancing about gleefully.

Here I was, going about my business, revealing my hideous armpits to the world, completely unaware of the havoc and horror they were wreaking.

I should be ashamed of myself.

Contact the author here: brianna@morningquickie.com