The Wealthy Can Wipe Away Their Internet Embarassments (The Rest Of Us Wallow In Our Smut)

Naked photos of Vanesss Hudgens, Miley Cyrus smoking up, and Christine O’Donnell’s witch history: While it may embarrass them, this stuff is our guilty pleasure. But is this kind of internet dirt becoming a thing of the past?

New businesses have emerged to help customers hide their dirty internet pasts. They use algorithms to hide embarrassing drunk photos, posts from an ex saying what a cheating bastard you are, anything you don’t want an employer to see — that is, if you have over $3,000 to burn.

While the wealthy get to hide nude pictures and ensure that their achievements are at the top of a google search, the rest of us poor slobs have to deal with the consequences of our actions. We have to take responsibility for our drunk status updates or our foursquare logins at strip clubs. Historically, this is nothing new. The wealthy have been hiding their pasts for a price ever since Thomas Jefferson covered up news of his illegitimate black children. They have also been using their money to buy advantages most of us can’t afford: SAT tutors, professionally done resumes, expensive suits to wear to an interview, you name it. Websites like reputation.com are taking these advantages to a whole new level. They charge $3,000 a month for a process that may take a year depending on the type of client (and how dirty the online past).

Most companies — 78 percent — reported that they google their potential employees before hiring them. Your online reputation is important, and could even affect the rest of your life. So while some people can pay to put their published work or personal website at the top, I’m stuck with having my Facebook page and high school twitter updates on the top of the search results. Even if you are smart enough to avoid putting the videos of you dancing drunk on YouTube, there are still things you would rather employers didn’t see.

Another question is, where does this business draw the line? Could a sex offender hide information about his crimes? What about DUI’s or why you were fired from past jobs? Employers need to know this stuff in order to protect themselves and their other employees. The fact that you can potentially pay to hide this stuff raises some ethical questions.

Once again, the idea is enforced that there are no punishments for your actions as long as you’re rich. If you don’t have thousands to spend, I would suggest cleaning up your Facebook page. Take Playboy out of your favorites list and add some Shakespeare instead.

Contact the author here: JennY@morningquickie.com