Men Cry On The Inside

It’s always been accepted as a given that women are more weepy than men. It’s just the scapegoat that changes. Women are hormonal, PMS-ing, menopausal and overall more delicate than men.

Men learn to control their tears. Their fathers, peers, siblings and even women might think they’re pansies if they don’t. We all know that showing signs of weakness just isn’t manly.

Psychologists blame social conditioning, academics blame the Industrial Revolution for teaching men to put their personal lives on the backburner so they could get er done, and scientists are blaming the size of our tear ducts.

Women have smaller tear ducts than men, according to new research. I like to think of it like a pot of coffee. Women only have the perfect one cup machines and men have large pots that brew ten man-sized mugs of coffee. They can hold in an ocean of tears.

The flipside is that men are slowly letting their pots fill up to the brim. Like Justin Timberlake, they cry a river when it finally comes out. Being less socially acceptable for men to cry in public of all places, they repress it until it can no longer be contained.

Whether it’s the size of the tear ducts or not, it’s true that women are more inclined to let it out when they feel they need to. And it’s usually when they’re most comfortable. When I’m cozy on my couch watching The Lion King, I’m not going to lie that the waterworks never fail to appear. I burst out in sobs over the tragedy of Mufasa’s death.

And I think boys want to cry too. They’re human, aren’t they? I mean, he falls off a cliff during a stampede. If this doesn’t pull the trigger on a flood, I don’t know what will.

What I take from this study is that men don’t cry because their pots aren’t full yet. I mean, do we really want to throw the hormone argument back in men’s faces after they’ve been harping on us for being hormonal for God knows how long? Let’s leave testosterone alone this time.

All this coffee talk boils down to one logical conclusion. Men cry just as much — it’s just on the inside.

Contact the author here: tinybart@morningquickie.com