My Virtual Boobs

Yes, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. A handful really is enough. I’m not trying to be politically correct or anything, but I really do love women in all shapes and sizes. I tip my hat to all those big racks out there and embrace small chests too. Cute and va-va-voom. Both good.

Most likely, you’ve still wondered what it would be like to have big breasts if yours are minis. Relief is here! Apple is putting a stop to all this wondering by releasing their latest gadget called the iAugment. You highlight a woman’s bust and play with how big you can get it. It’s just like when you were a kid and blowing up a balloon was fun…until it popped or blew away.

We can put it in the same category as all those other apps that are turning cute technology-geeks into obnoxious pervs, but frankly, I’m glad for it. I think of it like the curly versus straight hair discussion every woman has in her lifetime (I’m assuming since I’ve had it myself at least five times). If you have stick straight hair, you’ve wondered what it would be like curly, and vice versa. This can also extend to colour. Do you choose Betty or Veronica?

It’s natural to imagine having what we don’t have. There’s just so much diversity out there that we’re naturally inclined to experiment. Different boobs for different broads. Is that how the saying goes?

Don’t think it’s all fun and games though. It seems people are just tiptoeing around it the new app. They’re not sure if it’s good or bad. All the worry is for women who are on the edge, standing on the cliff of real versus fake. If you’re on the fence about plastic surgery, look out. It could tip you over.

The way I see it is that if you want implants you’ll probably get them. You may have a positive reaction to actually seeing a digital image of your Barbie-esque self and your partner may swoon at the sight of a brand new you, but chances are if you’re already looking into implants, you want to (and probably will) rock some big boobs.

For women who don’t care to get them, it’s just the curiosity factor. We must remember that curiosity doesn’t always kill the cat. I could see myself sitting around having drinks with friends and just having a good laugh over it.

I’m not ignoring that the iAugment could be used negatively. It could be used in high schools to taunt women with smaller chests, pictures could be plastered all over Facebook from your drunken night where you were bored and went crazy with the app and there’s no denying it could cause tension in a relationship if your partner looks at it and takes the option seriously. Bigger may be better.

But I remain optimistic. Visual enhancement is certainly a better alternative than actual augmentation. In terms of actual, we’re talking about cold hard cash, time off work and recovery. Surgery, ladies and gents.

Maybe I’m just someone who prefers to live in my imagination and so sees no harm in imaging what it would be like if I had big ones. If you don’t even take photographs of your real body seriously (Yuck! Bad picture) then how can you take a digital re-imaging seriously?

But I do think that Apple should come out with a penis enlarging one as a complementary app. If this one’s for the guys (so a “fella can dream”), let’s give one to the ladies.

Contact the author here: tinybart@morningquickie.com