Daddy Issues

I hear “daddy issues” used in conversation all the time, especially on a college campus. If a girl sleeps with multiple men, she does so because she has daddy issues. If a girl gets angry and her boyfriend can’t figure out why, it’s because she has daddy issues. I even overheard this tidbit the other day while walking to class:

Frat guy 1: “Dude, I’m seeing that girl tonight but I don’t know if she’ll sleep with me.”
Frat guy 2: “No she definitely will, I heard she has massive daddy issues.”

So what exactly are daddy issues, and why does this epidemic only seem to afflict women? Urbandictionary.com offers up a pretty degrading definition for us: “Whenever a female has a fucked up relationship with her father, or absence of a father figure during her childhood, it tends to spill into any adult relationship they embark on, usually to the chagrin of any poor male in their life.”

Notice that only “female” is used, and the “poor male” is portrayed as the victim here, not the girl with the absent father. Oh all these poor men having to deal with us irrational, mentally unstable women. How do they ever manage? This is sounding more like an excuse for men to use if their relationship doesn’t work out.

The subject seems rife with pop culture references but very little actual research, which only heightens my suspicion that daddy issues don’t even exist. The only opinions on the subject are the misspelled ravings of forum writers asking other men how to tell if a girl has daddy issues. And if they do, what makes them different than any issues we face as children? Countless things can happen in a person’s childhood that will effect them in adulthood. But why are daddy issues singled out for women only?

I know plenty of men whose lack of a father has carried over into their relationships. Of course if a man sleeps around he is a stud, while a woman is labeled as having psychological trauma from her childhood. Issues are issues, and they affect us all in different ways. A woman without a father figure could act perfectly normal (whatever normal means) in a relationship while a woman with a father figure could be promiscuous. The same thing goes for men. You can’t simplify someone’s personality like that.

So I challenge men to grow a pair and stop using daddy issues to explain a woman they don’t understand.

Contact the author here: JennY@morningquickie.com