C-String: The Latest Torture Object For Your Genitals

G-strings got rid of your panty lines but for some, that was not enough.

Enter the C-string. This piece of underwear (or bathing suit, if you’re brave) is a little bit of fabric that covers your crotch and holds itself up thanks to a wire structure that grabs on your anatomy the same way a headband holds on to your head.

Why do we “need” such a monstrosity? Apparently, the elastic band that holds underwear up is too visible for some women and can create the impression that they are fat.

The C-strings actually entered the market in 2007, but they were just featured on the TV show The Doctors and are regaining coverage. Even these TV personalities seem perplexed (though very amused) by them.

Why would anyone wear this? The muffin top excuse is very shady as the problem with the picture they showed was that those jeans were too tight at the hips, creating the impression of love handles. Underwear had nothing to do with it.

The C-string website also claims it’s an “elegant” piece of lingerie, which I have a very hard time believing.

This product is bad news all around. From some of the accounts I’ve read, it’s extremely uncomfortable and I can only imagine that, overtime, the underwire chafes. The irritated skin on your panty line and between your butt cheeks will take away any confidence and sex appeal you thought you’d get.

As Dr. Lisa Masterson also mentions in the video, the C-string looks like the best way to getting a UTI because of the lingering rectal bacteria rubbing back and forth as you walk. That kind of pain and risk for your kidneys is not worth the absence of panty lines.

Finally, its name alludes to its shape like the letter C. Yet, I couldn’t help but think that it referred instead to one of the many offensive names for female genitalia starting with that letter. That dubious marketing choice alone should keep you away.

Please, let’s just stop the madness. We wear underwear for a reason and anyone who can’t handle it needs to re-evaluate. Besides, I don’t see any men caring about what their boxers look like. There’s no valid reason for risking your health to look a certain way. Who really cares about panty lines anyway?

Contact the author here: sedera@morningquickie.com