The Feminist Invasion

Feminism has grown from a fringe movement to a way of life. While most people understand the ideals and support them, whether or not they use the F-word, there are the people who are convinced that Feminists want to take over the world — rather like an alien invasion.

The iconic image of Feminists are the women who burned their lingerie in protest of firm and perky breasts. As those saggy old boobs fell to the floor suddenly the sex kittens and aspiring mothers were turned into something altogether more alien.

Of course this scene is similar to many transformations from human to creature found in alien invasion movies. Like Feminists ideas, they infect the human brain until they spawn, infecting everyone around them. Feminists may not want to destroy civilization, but we do intend to level the playing field. Roadblocks fill us with rage.

If Feminists did come off the spaceship, it’s hardly a classic alien invasion. There are no guns or mind-altering rays or anal probes. No, our only weapon is arguing.

It’s been like peeling an onion — first the right to vote, then the right to not be raped, then the right to work, then control over our bodies. Indeed, it’s made people cry, but the Feminist movement has done a phenomenal job at spreading awareness of issues that impact people’s lives.

Just look at any Feminist site and you’ll see that the message is not “Equality Or Die,” written in blood. Rather, Feminists look at issues that affect men and women alike, including the gender gap, the wage gap, sexual and interpersonal relations.

You’ll see the odd splash of anger, such as criticism over the latest torture device for women’s genitals or outrage over a woman getting kicked out a restaurant for breastfeeding, but a little healthy ranting never hurt anyone. Sometimes, we must be hostile merely to prove a point.

Besides, if Feminists just played nice all the time that would give you more reason to worry about what’s to come. Nothing is more frightening than the aliens infiltrate our culture, dressing as humans, lying in wait to attack when the Mothership arrives. Nope, we put ourselves out there for all to see, hairy legs and all.

And there is a lot to complain about. Every day there are numerous topics in the news that rub Feminists the wrong way. Some studies dumb it down for us, saying women like bad boys. If it doesn’t enrage you to read that a Utah woman was arrested for selling her daughter’s virginity, you haven’t been anywhere in the vicinity of the Feminist Enterprise.

We may continue to yearn for the day when Feminists become our Overlords, but there’s yet more work to be done. Until then, please excuse the hostility.

Contact the author here: tinybart@morningquickie.com