Not All Men Want Anal Sex. Seriously.

Dear Madame X,

I have been with my lover for two years and we do everything under the sun, but he has never asked me for anal sex. In the past, it has always been the man who has brought it up and doing it has always been a special treat for them. I don’t know if he is afraid to ask me about it or what the problem is. I certainly can’t walk up to him and say, “Honey, would you mind sticking your dick in my ass?” How can I help him ask the question if he never brings it up?

Not Being Anal

Dear Not Being Anal,

Contrary to popular belief, not all men want to have anal sex!

If your lover doesn’t want to have anal sex then there is nothing wrong with  him and there’s no need to push the issue.

However, it sounds like you want to do it. Maybe you also consider this a “special treat” for yourself?

Either way, the only possibility of you having a good and fulfilling sex life is to take control of it and ask for what you want.

So, in actual fact, you can just walk up to him and tell him you want to have anal sex! And you should.

But, if you are feeling shy, or unsure about it, just tell him what you told me. That it seems strange to you that he hasn’t asked and you wonder if he is worried you might react badly, or if, in fact, he doesn’t care.

Also, if you want to do it but he doesn’t, don’t push the issue, but you both need to remember that a good relationship and good sex is about compromise, so maybe he can put up with it once in a while for you.

Just keep that communication going and remember to use condoms and lots of lube!

Madame X is a master of sex. She is adamantly pro-sex which she translates to pro-fun and pro-safety. An avid practitioner of the activity, she has also been trained in the technical dos and don’ts. No mere agony aunt, she knows of what she speaks. Send her your questions, comments, and concerns about sex and relationships here.