More Penis? Yes, Please

It’s not often that a day goes by without hearing the word “penis.” Hey, I’m not complaining.

Austin Powers had some funny euphemisms for it, but lately, I find that I want it raw and uncensored (the word or the actual flesh and blood). And this is just what’s on the menu this fall.

I’m not sure where it starts, but Weiner’s weiner did made a big splash in every possible news outlet. The recent scandal in the world of the penis involves The Real Housewives of DC personality Michaele Salahi and Journey guitarist Neil Schon. She left her husband, he left his wife, and the climax is that Schon allegedly sent Tareq Salahi a penis picture. And then there’s the unidentified penis on Mila Kunis’ phone. Sources say it does not belong to Justin Timberlake. Damn.

But don’t you sometimes want to see a real penis? We’ve seen enough women’s breasts to last us a lifetime, so it’s about time that men dropped their pants. I don’t want to endorse objectification, just encourage an openness about sex and anatomy. It’s nothing to be ashamed of — we all have private parts.

The first step is talking about the penis. So with all this talk of mandatory sex education in schools, bring it on! According to June Thomas of Slate, the word is being tossed around more nonchalantly in this fall’s TV roster. “Penis makes an appearance in a line sold surprisingly well by Kevin ‘Drama’ Dillon in the predictably dreadful How To Be a Gentleman,” she says.

As Britney Spears would say, “Gimme more.” Fortunately for us, Shame recently premiered at the Toronto Film Festival and showed us Michael Fassbender in all his full-frontal nudity glory. Can you even remember the last time that you saw full-blown penis (more than once) in a film?

Maybe it’s a product of the oversaturation of sex that we’re now oozing with penises and vaginas. Our apparent lack of boundaries may be controversial, but on the other hand, at least we’re (as Dave Chappelle would say) keeping it real.

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