Is A Butt Plug All Day Okay?

Dear Madame X,

This is a question of etiquette.

My lover has requested that I wear a butt plug all day for him. He would like this to be a normal day. However, I hold a high level position in my company which requires me to attend meetings, often several times a day. While I want to do this for him, I’m concerned that this is disrespectful to my colleagues.

Obviously, no one else will know, but I will. What do you think, Madame X?

Butt Out Of My Business

Dear Butt,

If nobody knows what you are doing how could they possibly be offended? It’s true that if they found out they would probably be offended, or creeped out, or disgusted, or possibly perfectly fine with it. The problem is that you won’t know unless you ask them, and I don’t think there’s much chance of that. You need to decide how much your worry about your colleagues affects you. If it’s too much don’t do it, but if it’s just a little bit, you can try and see how you feel at the time. The butt plug can always be taken out if it gets too much for you.

This is something a lot of couples try out, especially those into a bit of BDSM, and it’s mostly safe to do. The main concern is that the lubricant you need to use to insert it will dry up throughout the day, so when you take it out you are more likely to injure yourself. If you are going to wear it all day be sure to take it out and reapply lube every few hours.

Most of the information available is anecdotal, so have a look around online, then see how your body reacts when you do it. You may also want to start with a smaller size, and there are certain styles designed for longer term use. It may be worth talking to a doctor about what they think if you have any health concerns, and definitely have a chat with your local sex shop experts.

I think the most important question here is, are you comfortable doing this?

You say you want to do it for your lover, and it is great to try things out for each other, but you have to be comfortable with doing it for yourself otherwise it’s just not worth it. If you’re not, and your main concern about your colleagues is too big to overcome, find a way to engage with your lover that works for both of you. And if you do go ahead with this, have fun!

And p.s., this is making me look at my colleagues in a whole new way! I wonder what they might have in their jeans right now…

Madame X is a master of sex. She is adamantly pro-sex which she translates to pro-fun and pro-safety. An avid practitioner of the activity, she has also been trained in the technical dos and don’ts. No mere agony aunt, she knows of what she speaks. Send her your questions, comments, and concerns about sex and relationships here.