Support For Women After Miscarriage

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day was Saturday, October 15th, a day acknowledged by Canada, the United States, and the United Kingdom in remembrance of miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or the death of a newborn. Five days earlier, a friend of mine suffered a miscarriage, and last Saturday her and her husband found themselves in what seemed to be a bad dream, lighting a ceremonious candle in honour of their loss, on a day of remembrance that only a week earlier had slid under their consciousness as just another day.

Miscarriage is considered to be the most common complications of early pregnancy, and it is estimated that approximately one in four pregnancies result in miscarriage. Although miscarriage may be a frequent occurrence, its commonality does not reflect the complex, emotional hardship it can cause to those who experience it. The psychological recovery of parents who are dealing with this natural, albeit intensely personal phenomenon, can drastically vary, and while some people are able to move on only a few months afterwards, others endure a long-winded grieving process as they make peace with their loss and make the journey back to psychological wellness.

From the onset of pregnancy, expectant parents start to develop a bond with the embryo or fetus, and this is particularly true for the woman, as she experiences a unique physical connection to the baby growing inside her. It is suggested that those who experience overwhelming levels of grief following a miscarriage may feel like their baby had been born and died, and with the loss of the pregnancy also comes a loss of hopes and dreams. It is in these very diverse, personal perspectives that conceptualizations about the magnitude of miscarriage, and the psychological effects of it, are blurred and not easily defined.

Struggling with the grief of a miscarriage can be an isolating experience due to social misunderstandings and insensitive responses from the medical profession. My friend mirrored this feeling of emotional segregation when she expressed how alone she felt following the occurence of her miscarriage. However, she ultimately made a brave decision: she opened up and she reached out.

Women’s solidarity has been built on our ability to share our experiences, from oral storytelling, to A Room of One’s Own, to blogging communities. By sharing our stories, we spread knowledge, create unity, and build communities of support. It is a part of our strength as women — it is our spark.

When my friend shared her story via Facebook, the responses she received, from caring acquaintances, to other women who had experienced miscarriage, were overwhelming. Her experience demonstrated the power of sharing our stories with one another, from the everyday joys we lavish, to the hardships we endure. It is through opening ourselves up to others that we alleviate our emotional weight, as well as raise awareness about difficult life occurences that we rarely speak of, like miscarriage.

Our stories are our legacy, and we tell them not only for each other, but for the education and progression of future generations. No one in this world is immune from loss, or the subsequent pain of experiencing loss, but we can increase our communal compassion and empathy towards one another by reaching out and sharing our stories, and reassuring each other that we are not alone.

Contact the author here: lojomanifesto@morningquickie.com