Hallowe’en Is Being Smothered To Death

With Hallowe’en quickly approaching many of us are frantically searching for unique costume ideas. For Calgary school children their costumes must not only be creative, but promote community values. However, no one seems to know what this means.

According to the regulations of Colonel Walker and Ramsay schools, costumes can not include masks, weapons, or any imagery promoting violence. But what benefit are the children getting from these limited costume options exactly? Parents of the school fail to see this and the principal of both schools with costume limitations gave a frustratingly vague response to the purpose of the new costume parameters saying “Staff has chosen to use the day normally known for scares and frights as an opportunity to teach community values.”

I realize the true meaning of Hallowe’en has been lost over the years, but can we just take a moment to recap that this holiday which is often associated with candy, is actually about inviting dead people back to earth for an evening. I personally find this concept far more terrifying than a plastic Batman mask, but maybe that is just my generation.

So what is a modern parent supposed to offer their child for non offensive costume ideas? Perhaps a cat would be PC enough for our discerning principal. But what about those with cat allergies? They might find this offensive as they can’t have this furry family pet in their home without having an asthma attack. Way to rub it in Billy.

Maybe a cuddly bear then. Although with the whopping three bear attacks reported last year in North America this could be seen as predatory. First you and little Scotty are enjoying a peanut butter sandwich (also offensive) together and then WHAM he leaps over the table goes straight for your juice box. Then you are just another bear bait statistic.

Barbie is off limits as it promotes unrealistic body proportions. Dressing as any character who comes from a different cultural background is seen as racially insensitive. A traditional ghost is unthinkable considering the religious implications surrounding the after life (not to mention that you might be mistaken for a member of the KKK). Dressing in a police uniform is unacceptable as they carry a weapon, and illegal in case someone mistakes an eight year old for a genuine RCMP officer. An easy mistake to make.

With all of the costume restrictions in place for Hallowe’en in a public school surely it would be less controversial to simply skim over this holiday in school and actually teach kids something. I believe teaching tolerance to children in very important in shaping the next generation. But telling children no to do something without explaining why is both confusing, and a waste of time and resources.

So it looks as though kids will be forced to dressed in shame, as ninja turtles and goblins, in an underground costume party circuit in the basements of open minded parents (who are already dreading the school news letters for acceptable winter holiday guidelines and practices).

Contact the author here: lacey@morningquickie.com