The Hero Of Crazed Women!

We live in a world full of expectations. Women, for example, are expected to be the perfect images of beauty at all times. They are also expected to be crazy bitches whose periods are simply making them overreact. We laugh and joke about how “psycho” we get when we are menstruating and laugh about how irrational we tend to be. But we are not psycho or crazy and irrational. Never have been, never will be. When we get angry, we get angry for a reason.

Luckily, women can count on a few choice men who actually get this. Yashar Ali is an example of the kind of man needed more in this world. He gets that we are made to feel less than men, full of unnecessary emotions and overreactions. He knows that women are not crazy. He sees that in order to express our opinions we feel like we have to apologize, using emoticons and “I’m sorry”s before sharing a differing opinion. Not all of us, but most. We are made to feel this way. It is not our fault. And Yashar has got the right idea.

All of this can be summed up in one word: gaslighting. “Gaslighting is a term often used by mental health professionals… to describe manipulative behavior used to confuse people into thinking their reactions are so far off base that they’re crazy.” The person who is gaslighting instills an emotion in another person and then makes them feel like shit for feeling that way…like they don’t deserve to find offense or anger in their statement. This ultimately makes the victim believe they are at fault. Which, duh, they really aren’t!

But unlike men who do this sort of thing all of the time and push it aside as if we deserve it because we are simply “crazy,” Ali realizes his fault in the matter and wishes to make a change. “I recognize that I’ve been guilty of gaslighting my women friends in the past (but never my male friends–surprise, surprise). It’s shameful, but I’m glad I realized that I did it on occasion and put a stop to it,” he writes. He takes the blame but also blames simple “conditioning.” As they are raised, men are taught to find women beautiful and silly, never very serious. And women are taught to laugh about being crazy and use it as a uniting factor. “Oh, those crazy women!” But it clearly shouldn’t work this way.

Quoting Gloria Steinem, Ali discusses the idea of “unlearning” gaslighting and the gendered actions we have been taught. “The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn,” said Steinem.

We need to unlearn the stereotypes and expectations and rebuild a world of respect for ourselves. Women’s thoughts are legitimate. When we get angry or frustrated, we are doing so because of normal human reaction, not because we have cramps. We are strong and opinionated forces of nature, and, possibly with the help of feminist heroes such as Yashar, we will kick your ass if we have to. On our periods or not.

Contact the author here: crazycolleen@morningquickie.com