Moms, Let Your Mammaries Out

Since my friend had her first baby, she’s had her tits out all over town.

Most folk have just ignored them, since they generally have an infant attached. She’s not pole dancing with sequinned tassles whacking people in the face or anything like that. Breastfeeding isn’t LIKE that.

She didn’t make a decision to actively feed her baby in public. Props to the lactivists who stage sit-ins, of course. But my friend is a busy woman who has a baby who wants to eat and she eats from the boobs and that’s how it goes.

On my last visit to my friend’s city, I was pleased to note no one paid the blindest bit of attention to the suckling infant, apart from a few small acts of courtesy like closing the cafe door so our party wouldn’t get a draft.

“Have you had you had any bother about the boobs,” I asked, motioning to the baby who had disengaged and was lunging for mine and the passing waitress’ breasts.

“No,” said my friend. “Except for one nutter.”

“Fantastic,” I said. “Do tell.”

It seems my friend was in a restaurant with her partner and the milkmuncher, all three of them having lunch. As the family beside them (mom, dad and girl of nine or ten years) paid the bill and walked away, my friend’s partner hissed, “Did you HEAR what they were SAYING?”

No she had not, but as reported by her seething bloke, the young girl at the next table had asked her parents what the lady with the baby was doing. After a brief explanation, the girl had blurted, “Well she shouldn”t be doing THAT in public.” This weird observation was followed by her dad placing his chair between the girl and the boobs, then asking for the bill.

We were baffled, I must admit. Both of us were vaguely aware of the idiocy that might lead some folk (you know the ones, they wear terrible clothes) to be offended by early years breast-based nourishment, but the problem of a young girl who sounds like the ladies from Edward Scissorhands made us fume. What negativity is this young woman learning about her own body?

My friend continues to feed the infant, wherever she happens to be.

Contact the author here: miriam@morningquickie.com