No Chemistry With My Date

Dear Madame X,

I have been on a few dates with a guy I met online. He is really nice, but I am not attracted to him. Should I call it off now, or wait to see if things improve?

Missing the Sparks

Dear Missing,

I definitely think that people should give others the benefit of the doubt and get to know them beyond first impressions. First impressions can be wrong and you can miss out on great relationships (or at least friendships) if you give up too soon.

On the other hand, I don’t think you should lead anybody on and keep dating them if you don’t feel any chemistry and if you think it’s an important part of a good relationship.

Only you can decide how long you should keep dating this guy. If you think there’s still a chance then there’s no harm in seeing him for a little while longer, but if you really don’t think you will be attracted to him then it’s probably better to call it off.

Remember, there’s nothing wrong with not having chemistry, even if he’s perfect it all other ways. It’s one of those things that is not easily explained, and if you think it’s important in a relationship then you shouldn’t deny that for yourself. Just make sure you don’t give up too soon and miss out on something great — but trust your gut intuition as you will know when the time is right to move on.

Madame X is a master of sex. She is adamantly pro-sex which she translates to pro-fun and pro-safety. An avid practitioner of the activity, she has also been trained in the technical dos and don’ts. No mere agony aunt, she knows of what she speaks. Send her your questions, comments, and concerns about sex and relationships here.