The 40-Year-Old Japanese Virgin

I recently heard about what is claimed to be the rising phenomenon of Japanese men remaining virgins for longer – sometimes up to 40-years-old.  It was said that some men were delaying their plunge (as it were) into the world of adult relationships because younger women were now increasingly tending to have more sexual experience than they used to, which in turn made these men feel inadequate, or at least in danger of unfavourable comparison, and so they were staying out of the fray for longer.  And, of course, this would only make the situation worse, with the result that the situation reinforced itself and they got even more up tight about it all.

My first reaction to this was that it’s a bit cheap to blame the increased societal normalization of young women’s interest in sex, and the resulting increase in experience amongst younger women, for “psyching you out” of having sex with them.  For one thing, the fact that these women are interested in sex and willing to do it should be encouragement enough.  Also, it’s a bit weird to think that a woman not being a virgin would be off-putting in some way.  Maybe I’d never make a good jihadist, but I can’t really see the interest in having a roomful of 72 virgins at my disposal.  72 willing female sexual partners, well, yes please – but all of them virgins?  Without wishing to be un-chivalrous to this imaginary (and, let’s face it, pretty unlikely) harem, that seems like a lot of work.

Of course, for many of these shrivelling cherries, it may be more about making the voyage of discovery into sexual awareness together with a similarly inexperienced partner – tripping through the sexual tulips hand in hand – than about sleeping with a virgin per se.  And, certainly, many people want their first time to be special.  But by the time you’re in your thirties, surely you must just want to have a go, whether she’s the love of your life or not.

(By the way, I’m assuming here that the men in question weren’t actually completely uninterested in sex with women, or in sex at all.  That wouldn’t be so much of a mystery.)

But of course, what’s probably holding many of these men back is the idea that there will be some sort of expectation on them to “perform,” stallion-like, in some marathon way, or to be some kind of tantric master, there to take them to a higher plane.  But they should really think about it.  Is it very likely that other men, men who have some (not even very much) sexual experience, somehow acquire these gifts and abilities through a few encounters?  Is it likely that women with some experience themselves will somehow only be satisfied by these super-lovers?  Or is it maybe a bit more likely that people of all sorts of experience and predilection just like getting together and having a go at it, with varying results but rarely without some sort of enjoyment?

So I would say to these chaps: get involved.  Nobody’s going to laugh at you, and if they do, they’re not worthy of the honour of taking your honour.

Contact the author here: thewhy@morningquickie.com