Archive for The Fuming Feminist

The Ladder Conspiracy

The Ladder Conspiracy

June 8, 2012 No Comments

Ladders. Patriarchal conspiracy. I’ll explain… This week I climbed a ladder. I was trying to reach a loft space, where ideally I could leave my Big Suitcase which at the moment is stuffed with fabulous knitwear. Seems like a simple operation, until I tried to, you know, put one foot in front of the other ...

Lingerie For The Masses

Lingerie For The Masses

June 1, 2012 No Comments

Last weekend I was entertaining a guest, you know, the sort I was planning to have lots and lots of sex with in between ordering pizza and uncorking wine. I decided to be fancy. Like, maybe wear something under my jeans other than cotton panties with holes and such. I charged into a shop after ...

Girls’ Bikes Suck

Girls’ Bikes Suck

May 25, 2012 1 Comment

It’s that time of year, when spring blossoms counteract the car pollution, beer gardens are filled with humans on the run from their sweltering offices and everyone briefly falls in love with someone they’d normally ignore. It’s also time for summer pursuits, like cycling. I’m in the market for a two-wheeler, having recently moved from ...

The Patriarchal Overlords And Your Shoes

The Patriarchal Overlords And Your Shoes

May 18, 2012 No Comments

Airport security. Bloody nuisance. Also a conspiracy designed to subjugate women. Allow me to elaborate. Despite flying quite a lot, I’ve never been the focus of airport security attention, even though I always forget to take my lighter, tweezers or (on a recent flight) 250g jar of jam out of my handbag before entering the ...

Laptop Bags: Too Big And Too Sparkly

Laptop Bags: Too Big And Too Sparkly

May 11, 2012 No Comments

Laptop bags; conspiracy of the patriarchal overlords. Oh yes. I am a woman with hands. The average-sized hands of an average-sized woman. So things should basically fit into my hands, especially the things I need to do my work on an average day. Like my laptop bag. My longest finger (the middle one, I’m not ...

Tampon Conspiracy; There Is One

Tampon Conspiracy; There Is One

May 4, 2012 No Comments

There I was in the supermarket. It was an ordinary day, in an ordinary shop. Nothing sinister about the place apart from the peculiar choice of Duran Duran as background music. I weighed my apples, ground my coffee, selected my shampoo and reached for the tampons…and reached…and reached… Tampons on high shelves. TAMPONS ON HIGH ...

There’s More To Me Than My Marital Status

There’s More To Me Than My Marital Status

April 27, 2012 No Comments

Bloody Facebook. I knew there was a reason I became a reluctant convert. It’s all very well having hilarious banter with my actual friends, who are an international crowd, but there’s the well-documented difficulty of “people from the past.” I don’t mean a dark, shady past like everyone on Days of our Lives reveals just ...

Giant Sandwiches And The War On Women

Giant Sandwiches And The War On Women

April 20, 2012 No Comments

Sandwiches. Gender conspiracy. War on women. Let me explain. It was a sunny afternoon here in southern Germany. I’d escaped from the office to the organic bakery across the street, and found an outdoor table where I could read my book and drink the peppermint tea I’ve taken to drinking instead of coffee, to avoid ...

A 21st Century Madonna/Whore

A 21st Century Madonna/Whore

April 13, 2012 No Comments

This week I had a meltdown. In its wake, the remains of a Very Nice and Thoughtful Man who (I once spent a weekend with) (and) happened to be in the wrong email conversation at the wrong time, was being a bit flippant about the thing that was upsetting me. Let me give you some ...

On Female Excuses

On Female Excuses

April 6, 2012 No Comments

Thanks to Margo Hannah for letting us repost this great article! After years of inhabiting a female body, I believe I’m entitled to a partial opinion on how it operates. One thing I’d like to bring up is the hormonal excuse we drag out to exempt ourselves from owning erratic behaviour. As far as I’m ...

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Labour Guilt From A Dad-To-Be

So, we’re having this baby.  It’s due in a few weeks and we’re trying to get organized with all...

The 40-Year-Old Japanese Virgin

I recently heard about what is claimed to be the rising phenomenon of Japanese men remaining virgins for longer...

The Ladder Conspiracy

Ladders. Patriarchal conspiracy. I’ll explain… This week I climbed a ladder. I was trying to reach a loft space,...

Watching Porn During Sex Is A Turn-Off!

Dear Madame X, My boyfriend needs to look at porn while we have sex. It bothers me because I...

Repressed Sexuality And Feminism

Mrs. Dalloway is yet another feminist classic that I had to grow into. Wrapped up in Woolf’s instantly recognizable...

A Jolly Good Beer Festival

Last week saw a Big Thing come to our soggy little island. Well, it was a Big Thing for...

Lingerie For The Masses

Last weekend I was entertaining a guest, you know, the sort I was planning to have lots and lots...

The Brave Kick-Ass Disney Princess

All little girls want to be princesses… right?! It’s bad enough that toy aisles are separated out by what...

Mooncup Menstrual Cup