Dear Madame X, I’m a feminist. I’m in my twenties and I’m going to university and one day expect to have a fantastic career. I don’t believe I need a man to provide for me, make me happy or complete my life. I was never into princesses or brides. I’m also an American who believes ...
Dear Madame X, I am a very small woman with a very large vagina. Several ex-partners have commented on the size and I find having sex rather unfulfilling. Is there anything I can do to tighten up other than surgery or creepy Eastern “medicine”? Are there some positions that work better than others? I know ...
Dear Madame X, My wife thinks that it is time to explain the birds and bees to our twelve year old daughter. I think it is a little bit early for her to learn about sex but not in a damaging way, and my wife is adamant. My biggest worry is that she’ll tell her ...
Dear Madame X, Is there any food that can make a person horny? We have all heard the rumours about oysters and green M&Ms but there must be something that can cause a positive chemical reaction. I’m not trying to manipulate anyone here, but it would be good to be able to use all the ...
Dear Madame X, I am about to go under the knife for a problem with my colon, which will result in my having to wear a colostomy bag for a few months. Eventually, the doctors are going to reconnect me, and they tell me that I will be able to live a normal life. My ...
Dear Madame X, While browsing some porn websites lately, I’ve come across clips of both men and women urinating while having sex or, rather, making urination a sex act in itself. At first, my curiosity was piqued. The more I watch, though, the more aroused I become. Now, I fantasize constantly about peeing in my girlfriend’s ...
Dear Madame X, I told a couple of little white lies to my girlfriend to avoid some fights and now she thinks I can’t be trusted. Specifically, I didn’t tell her about going to a strip joint, or about chatting with a female friend on Facebook who happens to be my ex. I have never ...
Dear Madame X, At the moment I have a girlfriend and a boyfriend. Neither knew about the other until last week when my girlfriend found out that occasionally I prefer dicks to chicks. She’s losing it and says I was cheating, but I used protection every time and we’re hardly serious. I tried to explain ...
Dear Madame X, When my boyfriend and I have sex it stings when he is inside me, but otherwise it feels normal. Afterwards I notice blood when I go to the bathroom, but only the first time I wipe. Could his penis be damaging me? Am I allergic to him? What could be going ...
Dear Madame X, I walked in on my 13 year old son looking at an inappropriate website yesterday. I know it’s normal that he explores these things but there is a lot of scary and violent stuff online, and I don’t want him to confuse that with normal sexual relations. How do I explain that ...
John Burnside’s novel A Summer of Drowning takes us into the mind of Liv, a woman remembering the strange,...
Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. ~...
Are you a couple? Aren’t you? Maybe it’s just complicated. Thanks to xkcd.
This week I had a meltdown. In its wake, the remains of a Very Nice and Thoughtful Man who...
If you are breastfeeding your child, they are less than six months old, they only eat breastmilk (no other...
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… Actually, some time in the 1980s in a flat...
Dear Madame X, I have been on a few dates with a guy I met online. He is really...
Achmat Dangor’s novel Bitter Fruit begins in post-apartheid South Africa, when Silas spots the police lieutenant who raped Lydia...
