Tag Archive

Your Vagina Is The Wrong Colour

Your Vagina Is The Wrong Colour

April 18, 2012 No Comments

Bad news, ladies. Companies have invented yet another thing that can be wrong with you. Not only is your hair too curly, your lips too thin, your waist too thick, and your armpits not smooth enough. Now it turns out that your vagina is too dark. But don’t fret! Your disgusting problem can be treated ...

Sex With A Banana

Sex With A Banana

October 12, 2011 No Comments

Dear Madame X, I like having food eaten off of my coochie. I’ve done whipped cream, chocolate sauce, peanut butter and even sashimi. My partner suggested putting a banana up inside of me and then eating it out. Is this safe? If bits get left behind will they just come out, or will they rot ...

On Douchebags

On Douchebags

August 26, 2011 No Comments

Some men are amoebas on fleas on rats, as Frenchie told us in Grease. But if you don’t have the time, or the linguistic fortitude, to follow in her descriptive footsteps, what do you call the bad guys? When you think about it, there are not a lot of great options out there. As a ...

Get A Raise — Prep Your Ladybits, Then Your Mind

Get A Raise — Prep Your Ladybits, Then Your Mind

August 27, 2010 No Comments

Magazines like to give helpful advice about how to improve your life. They offer suggestions about your career, your health and your sex life. This advertisement hoped to capitalise on it all, but failed miserably.

Douching After Sex Hurts, Not Helps, Your Vagina

Douching After Sex Hurts, Not Helps, Your Vagina

January 20, 2010 1 Comment

Dear Madame X, After sex my friend always showers up there, to wash the sperm out (she’s also on the pill). She says that sperm stays in your body a long time and you need to make sure it has left. I’m worried that the water pressure would just push the sperm further up inside, ...

Smell Of Pussy "Like Wine Or Cologne"

Smell Of Pussy "Like Wine Or Cologne"

October 7, 2009 No Comments

Mick // Douches are unhealthy and unnecessary, which you probably knew. What you might not have known is that some men don’t like it when you mess with your natural scent. Two men, one a “vaginal sommelier,” discuss their likes and dislikes after the jump.

How Many Lovers Is Too Many?

Dear Madame X, I have just started seeing this girl. She seems great, but she recently told me she...

A Beloved Novel

Toni Morrison’s novel Beloved arrived in my hands via a public library, when I was a broke teenager with...

The University Men’s Non-Wanker Centre

My attention was drawn this week to an article about the reaction at a Canadian university to proposals to...

The Patriarchal Overlords And Your Shoes

Airport security. Bloody nuisance. Also a conspiracy designed to subjugate women. Allow me to elaborate. Despite flying quite a...

Lack Of Female Film-Makers Is Not Gender Bias

The Cannes film festival has kicked off this week with controversy over the lack of films made by women...

Why Macho Men Are Sexy

Dear Madame X, I seem to be only attracted to men who are macho assholes. I like them at...

Fifty Years Of A Clockwork Orange

When A Clockwork Orange was published in 1962, the term sexualized violence wasn’t in use. The distinction between sexualized...

Why Manly Skincare Is Better

Skincare. Not so very long ago, a man would have been mocked mercilessly for using just the word, never...

Mooncup Menstrual Cup